


Letters From A Life On The Run

by Nadja_Lee



Category: The Sentinel (TV)
Genre: Captivity, Children, Family Feels, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Torture, Light Angst, M/M, Murder, On the Run, Protectiveness, Revenge, Shaman Blair Sandburg, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-26
Updated: 2006-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22993696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: Jim’s letters to his brother details the events that lead to Jim and Blair raising Jim’s two children together and shows how they manage to create a family while being on the run.
Relationships: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg
Kudos: 36





	Letters From A Life On The Run

#  Letters From A Life On The Run

Steve,

First of all I’m not dead. I know that is what you’ve been told. 

I can’t say much – it would put us all in jeopardy – but from now on I will leave notes in the place where you first commented on my…special abilities when we were kids. You can leave notes back…put them in a box I will recognize as yours. Make sure you are not followed. Have Simon help you. We should then be able to communicate freely. Do not try and wait for me there; I won’t pick up your notes or leave mine to you myself. It wouldn’t be safe. 

When you tell Simon do it discreetly and not over the phone or in any of your homes or offices.

Take care,

Jim

P.s. Don’t trust dad. I will explain later if I’m able.

Dear Steve,

I got your note. I saw from your dating on the note that you left it over a month ago. Putting the notes in your old lunch box from junior high was a good idea. I shall leave mine inside it in return as, when you’re reading this, you will have discovered.

Blair is with me. He’s fine. Thanks for asking. His mother knows he’s with me. In fact she doesn’t even know he has been missing. The bliss of being a traveling mom I guess. 

You asked about me and where I have been these past years. Sometimes I feel every one of those two years and other times it feels surreal…even to me. I’m doing better each passing day. I will get by. When I escaped I discovered we hadn’t been kept far from Cascade…it only felt that way I guess. Amazing how small ones world can become when your main focus is simple survival. It also brings insights though as all obstacles faced in modern society disappears and leaves only the most important; for me it was mainly in regard to Blair and our connection. 

You guessed right…it seemed to have been a government founded secret laboratory we were held in; all state of the line equipment. They sure as hell had serious cash backing them up. They wanted to create the perfect soldier and after Blair’s dissertation leaked they knew I would fit the bill. They grabbed Blair and I two days after Blair had claimed his dissertation was a lie. Obviously, they didn’t believe him. Frankly, I knew there was a big chance our most dangerous enemies wouldn’t but I had been stupid enough to hope.

I can’t tell you where we are, but we will be constantly moving around. It’s safer that way. We have seen too much and are too valuable to be left alone. 

I have to end this now. I will write more when I have the chance. 

Take care,

Jim

P.s. When you think it’s safe you can share some of the information I write to you with Simon. Blair says hi to you both. Tell Simon that we both miss having him around. 

Dear Steve,

Thanks for your note and the money. I didn’t want to take them but we need them. Now more than ever.

Things have changed since last we saw each other. Actually, a lot has changed. I have two children now. I guess it’s more accurate to say Blair and I have two children. Twins. A boy and a girl. We’ve named them Matthew and Stella. They’re beautiful. I would show you a picture but it wouldn’t be safe. They were the straw that broke the camel’s back…when I saw them I knew, we both knew, we had to escape. No matter the cost. We could not let them be used the way our captors intended. They grossly underestimated a Sentinel’s love for his upspring as they did a Guide’s loyalty to his Sentinel. 

I owe you an explanation about dad, I know. Steve…he was the one who contacted them. Who confirmed to them what I was. Blair thinks he meant well, that he wanted to help me. Frankly I don’t care. If he wasn’t my father I would have killed him myself. 

Don’t trust him and don’t let my young niece anywhere near him.

Take care of yourself and your family,

Jim

Dear Steve,

Thanks for the well wishes on the kids. They are doing fine. Yes, they have Sentinel abilities as well. It can make things challenging at times. Normal childcare is out the window here. Lights, sounds, noises…there is a lot to watch out for but since it’s the same things which could disturb me they are easy to locate for both my Guide and myself. On the positive side some things are also easier…for example touch is often more calming to them than words. 

They also seem to have Shaman powers. That was what I meant about it being Blair and my kids – they were genetically generated in the lab by our captors from a mixture of his and my own DNA. They were carried to term by a normal surrogate mother they killed right after she delivered. 

I’m really ok. You don’t need to worry. I don’t want to go into details about what happened to us during those years but enough to say is that they wanted to test the limits of Sentinel endurance and the extent of the Sentinel-Guide bond. When they weren’t testing my ability to tolerate pain or how to use my abilities, I would be sent on missions with Blair being left behind as collateral. Surveillance, assassinations, interrogations…a Sentinel soldier is very useful. I am not fond of being caged and what they did to us made my most primal Sentinel instincts came out. You expressed surprise at my comment on killing dad. Don’t. I have already killed to protect Blair and our kids; if needs be I would gladly do so again. 

You were right when you commented that I sounded harder, colder in my letters; I have changed. I will do whatever I need to in order to keep my family safe. That includes you, brother. 

Be safe,

Jim

Dear Steve,

My letter seems to have troubled you. That wasn’t my intent. As long as I have my Guide and my kids I will make it. 

You were right in guessing I had been scared by the torture the Institute, as they called themselves, put me through. However, I also discovered my true Sentinel side. My Guide and I can communicate without words, I can sense danger; I can sense evil. Blair, as a Guide and Shaman, discovered his skills and abilities to manipulate and explore the spirit world. 

I do not miss the life I once had; I have everything I need here with me.

Except you and a few chosen friends of course. I leave it to you to protect those I cannot reach.

Take care,

Jim

  
  


Dear Steve,

I’m happy to hear about your promotion. Congratulations. I know the news is some months old by now but still….

You asked about Stella and Matthew. They were new-born when we escaped. Somehow the thought of seeing them grow up like that, like lab rats, had me overcoming pains I never knew I could survive before.

They are 14 months now and full of life. Matthew seems to have the strongest Sentinel abilities of the two. Loud noises often pain him so we try to keep him shielded from too bright light or too loud noises. We never bring him to the cities with us if we can avoid it – normal street level noise hurts him.

Stella seems to show Shaman powers superior to her brother. The other day she was able to bring her brother out of a zone just by saying small noises. Blair thinks she may be his Guide. 

Take care,

Jim

Dear Steve,

I can understand your confusion about the abilities of our children as well as my changing language. Sometimes my Sentinel side is very strong – in particular if I have just had to protect my family or otherwise used my Sentinel abilities. Other times I am more calm...rational; more like I used to be. I’ve come to accept that; no need to deny or fight what I can’t change. I have enough battles on my hands as it is. 

The Institute’s tests discovered that I am able to heal, and revive, my Guide. You do not want to know how they discovered this. He in turn is most times the only one who can bring me out of zones, he also has almost telepathic abilities when it comes to people and is the only one who can control my actions if my primal Sentinel urges takes over. He is also able to make Dream Quests and in part create illusions, and though they are ineffective on me they work very well on others. 

Take care,

Jim

Dear Steve,

Yes, you assumed correctly when you called Blair my partner. He has become my mate. More than a friend, a brother and my Guide; he is the other part of me. I would never have been able to do what I have done and live with it; I would never have survived those years in captivity without him.

Take care,

Jim

P.s. Blair sends his thanks for the money you left us. You don’t have to but thanks again.

Dear Steve,

I know you were surprised to see me but I had to assure myself you were alright. It has been three years now since our escape…five years since I saw you last. You look well as does your family. Congratulations on your wife’s pregnancy. Maybe one day I will get to know her. The way you speak of her I am sure I will like her.

Your letter commented on my appearance. I had forgotten that you hadn’t seen my scars before. They are old. The latest is from an encounter I had a few months back. You don’t need to worry. Blair would die before he let anything happen to me. He’s a good mate.

Take care,

Jim

Dear Steve,

I know it has been over a year since last I wrote you but the bastards took Blair! They thought they could use him against me as a pawn but they underestimated us both. When I had fought my way to him he had already killed two of them using his Shaman powers to his fullest ability. I killed the rest. 

He’s ok. They didn’t touch him. They didn’t have the time.

But it made us decide to leave the States. It’s not safe here. The chaos going on in the world, the insecurity, has made the government reckless and desperate. They need a soldier with my abilities and creating one with both Blair’s and my own powers and skills are such a powerful weapon they won’t ever give up. Besides, with our skills and after what we have been through we know too much to be allowed to live. 

I will contact you again when I can.

Take care of yourself and your family,

Jim

P.s. Blair wishes you well and congratulations from us both on your new daughter.

Dear Steve,

We’re doing well. We have reached Europe and have settled into a normal routine. We live in a small cottage far from the city and the kids, now seven, are attending regular school. Matthew in particular has some problems controlling his senses and his primal instincts but Blair is teaching him various techniques and it helps. Stella is also a calming influence on him though he’s fiercely protective of her as well. I have picked up the language quickly – I always had a flair for languages, remember? Blair knows this language from his studies so we are getting by. We are both working; don’t worry about money. 

I can’t say much more but just know that we’re ok.

Best of wishes to you all,

Jim

Dear Steve,

I got your letters. You wrote you doubted I would and yes, I am not in the States, but I still have some contacts from my military days. I will get news on you one way or another. 

Things are going well here. Stella is sometimes so much like Blair that I have to smile. She loves to read and she asks inquisitive questions all the time. You asked who they call dad. The answer is simple – both of us. Though they use dad for Blair and father for me. 

I think you misunderstood me earlier. Matthew isn’t just like me and Stella isn’t just like Blair. Stella is very much my daughter as well. She is stubborn and brave and has a Sentinel’s instinct to protect yet a Shaman’s instinct to heal and not to harm. She loves sitting in my lap, she feels safe in my arms. Matthew does not seek my protection in this manner – more my guidance. However, he’s a very thoughtful boy and does not easily accept things. His protective instincts are more pure Sentinel though his Shaman powers let him combine both aspects. He can for example use his Sentinel senses inside the Dream Quests he creates for himself or others. 

You asked me if not I could come home soon. I know you think I’m being overly cautious but Blair is still getting warning visions whenever we ponder this topic and I won’t put my family at risk. Maybe one day though….

Be well,

Jim

Dear Steve,

You were right when you wrote about your girls. It’s not easy being a father to a teenaged girl. Stella is attracting a lot of attention in this country with her brown curls and big blue eyes. The first time she had a boy over I managed to scare him away. I promised not to do so again though it was a hard promise to keep for how can anyone ever be good enough for her? Luckily though she has Blair on her side. I must also admit I have been much more lenient on Matthew when it comes to this so they both have a point.

We’re still moving around in Europe. The kids have picked up a lot of the languages as have I. Blair thinks it’s a Sentinel ability – to pick languages up quickly so a Sentinel can function as a protector no matter where his tribe goes. Though Blair’s not exactly slow himself when it comes to learning new things. He enjoys exploring the cultures we run into through. Did I tell you that he got his PhD several years back? Yeah, he did the one on the secret society within the police force. He even contributes articles for academic journals using the same name he used for the doctorate. Yeah, it’s risky but being a scholar is a part of who he is just like being a protector is what I am. You can guess the professions I have jumped between…soldier, medic, officer, firefighter to mention a few. I’ve even done some freelance mercenary and assassination jobs when the job profiles fitted my own views. And you guessed right – my Covert Ops contacts are the ones who have been helping with creating false papers and documentation for us well. 

Gotta go, take care,

Jim

Dear Steve,

Just a short letter to let you know that we have left Europe for South America. Blair got a Vision of the Institute having tracked us down and his Visions have never been wrong before.

Do not worry – we will be fine,

Jim

Dear Steve,

I am sorry my first letter to you has to be about something like this but it can’t be helped. I hate to be this blunt but I need you to leave some funds for me the same place you did for Jim. The Institute caught up with us and Jim let them capture him to grant the children and me a chance to escape. We lost most of our possessions and funds during the escape.

Steve, I  **will** get him back but I need some funds to do that. I have all Jim’s contacts memorized. I know who to hire and with Mathew, Stella and my own combined abilities we have been able to track Jim. We will get him back.

Yours,

Blair

Dear Steve,

We got him. Thanks so much for the funds. 

It took longer than I hoped to organize an escape plan but he’s with me now. You asked me not to spare you any details. The bastards have tortured him…trying to get him to reveal the kids’ and my own location. ‘Testing’ his abilities were their excuse. He has new scars all over his body. But he’s strong. He will pull through. I will see to it even if I have to lean him all the strength I have.

I’m a pacifist but I still killed the man who had ordered him pain…or rather I used my abilities to make him kill himself. I know I should feel guilt but right now my anger is too great.

I will write you again when I have more news.

Yours,

Blair

Dear Steve,

Jim is recovering nicely. In a few weeks he should be completely healed. 

You asked about the people who took Jim. You need not worry about them. Matthew extracted revenge like only a Sentinel could. At 16 he’s a force to be reckoned with. Yes, I’m still a pacifist but I have come to accept that my family to protect us all sometimes does things I may not have chosen to do. Though after what they did to Jim I am not so sure I wouldn’t have killed them all myself if given the chance. My hands are not exactly clean anymore. Though I’ve come to live with having taking lives, it is very hard on me and I still try my best to avoid it.

Take good care. Jim would never forgive you if you got into trouble.

Yours,

Blair

Dear Steve,

I’m ok. I know I worried you there but I’m back on my feet now.

We have found a place to settle for now and are all doing well. Blair sends his thanks and love.

Thank you for all your help. If ever I can repay you in any way you know you just need to ask. 

I got your note on dad’s passing. I can’t really get myself to feel anything. You said he left me something. Take it. I cannot use it anyway nor do I want to.

Love and thanks,

Jim

Dear Steve,

I’m glad I finally got to see you again. I enjoyed our time together. I will try and make our meetings more frequent. I’m also happy you got to meet Blair and the twins. Yeah, it’s hard to think they’re already nineteen. In some ways it feels like just yesterday we escaped with them safely hidden inside blankets, and other times I can feel ever one of these last many years on the run.

You don’t need to thank me for signing those documents and papers. I needed to get all those things properly settled about dad’s inheritance and my own assets. Besides, the Institute already knows I’m alive so playing dead doesn’t give me anything. 

Your idea on how Blair and I can return to public life isn’t bad. They can blackmail us by threatening to expose our abilities yet we can do the same with their operations. However, it’s still a big risk. We wouldn’t have the element of surprise. Besides, I have a good life now. I have Blair and I have the twins. We keep in contact with you, Simon and Blair’s mom. We can’t ever live a normal life. Maybe we never could. I have come to accept it. Maybe you need to do so as well.

Don’t feel sad for me, brother. I’m with someone I love and my brother and my children are well and safe. 

I am happy,

Jim


End file.
